Why did you choose to keep your children’s hair natural?
I had been natural for most of my adult life so it was only natural that they too remain naturals. My youngest daughter Nini (5) only knows me as having natural hair, where as Kamva(8) can’t remember as I cut my hair again when she was about 2 years old.
What prompted you to start Chocolate Hair Sisters blog?
The name is on a play on the colour of our skin, which resembles chococlate. I started the blog\Instagram page end of 2016 as a channel to share what we do to our hair. The information available online was only from the US & the UK, which was helpful to a certain extent but it did not help us as I felt our hair textures\types were completely different, ours is very coily and dry. As the page evolved I realized more and more parents were actually interested in this and we started focusing on SA products and what is on offer. Our main focus is hair but I try and push representation for our children. For them to see themselves in media, toys, books etc
What has been the biggest challenge in maintaining your children’s hair natural?
I think the biggest shock to me was realizing that what I do to my own hair actually won’t work on the girls. Also the girls themselves have different hair. One has fine 4C hair and the other very thick 4C hair. The other thing was trying to get them to sit still long enough to finish what we have started. So I try my best to come up with styles that are quick and fun. I try to also involve them in the process because I find if they are involved\invested in wash day it tends to go much faster. Children are very rough with their hair, they tumble, play and care free, which is what children do so I’ve had to change my own mindset and realize that their hair will not stay neat forever.
What do you say to them about their beauty and natural hair?
I think this is the part where I go overboard and I think like every mother I think I have the most beautiful children in the world. I tell them daily how beautiful I think they are and not just physically but they have amazing personalities. I compliment their hair a lot and never use bad words to describe their hair. So it’s never ‘eish your hair is difficult to manage etc’ I am trying to raise them to be confident in whatever state their hair is in. So they rock their hair shrunken, stretched, in styles with no issues. I also try my best to dress them in cute but different outfits. I am trying to make them bolder and not be shy because I was painfully shy child.
Have they wanted to straighten or relax their hair? If so, what did you say?
Not necessarily relax but Nini has gone through a ‘I want Elsa hair on my face’ phase. She wanted her hair straightened so it would touch her face and I told her it would not be possible because our hair grows up and does not go down. I have explained the dangers of relaxers and how straightening your hair may cause damage and you may end up having to cut your hair and starting from scratch. So I try to model my own hair in a way where I am not a hypocrite, so I too leave my hair not stretched and not straightened.
You are hosting your first workshop for mothers and daughters, why?
I think it’s something I’ve wanted to do for ages. I get DMs a lot from parents needing help and I can help where I can online but I think when you with someone and they physically show you what to do on your own child’s hair its easier. I want care-givers to leave the workshop with some knowledge as to what to do. I love our bonding sessions over hair and I want that for other families. Also the information on the internet can be so confusing and if at least parents have a head start they will be able to figure things out from there
Why do you prefer to do your children’s hair over taking them to the salon?
I feel at home I have more control as to what goes on with their hair. Sometimes salons are not gentle with kids’ hair and both my girls have extremely sensitive hairlines. I have also done their hair and I’ve had to undo a day later because I can already see the bumps from the irritation. So they see salons as a treat and when Mom is unavailable and we urgently need hair done. Also financially I save by doing their hair at home. But the bonding time between us is my favourite time.
Your kids have 4c hair,’which shrinks a lot, why do you choose to have it out a lot of the time instead of braided like most parents do with their kids who have 4c hair?
I need them to know this is their hair, no matter what. I teach them how versatile our hair can be. I know there is a saying ‘embrace the shrinkage’ but I don’t look it at like that. To me it’s your hair; there is nothing to embrace. Just love your hair. I think if we keep putting extensions and stretching our kids’ hair we tell them that their hair is more beautiful long.
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