Throughout history the value and significance of the family unit is evidenced in communities across the globe. They are the building block of society. A family is supposed to provide a space for the provision of emotional, physical and psycho-social support for its members. Statistics South Africa (Stats SA) recently released a report titled

Children’s Education and Well– being in South Africa conducted in 2018. The report revealed that only 31.7% of black children stayed with their biological fathers, compared to 51.3% of coloured children, 86.1% of Indian/Asian children and 80.2% of white children. Black children aged 0 – 17 were the least likely to stay with their biological father at home compared to their peers of other races. According to the same report between 74% and 92.6% of children stayed with their mothers only across all four race groups. This has implications on child development and has lasting effects spanning into adulthood. In this article I will touch on the history of parental absenteeism in South Africa and then I look at the effects of an absent parent/s on early child development.

The effects of absent parents on a child often leaves the child unable to form healthy relationships and more often than not some will battle mental disorders in adulthood linked to unresolved parental issues in childhood.

THE HISTORY OF SOUTH AFRICA AND PARENTAL ABSENTEEISM

To better understand our current state, we need to revisit the historical context that contributed to the current state. I believe this to be a sensitive issue so I am just going to put a disclaimer out there; I fully understand that family structures are varied and valid and that a child can thrive in any structure as long as their developmental needs are met. With that said a parent may be absent for many reasons and in different ways that can or cannot affect a child negatively.

Some of the reasons identified for a parent’s absence in South Africa are:

•  High rate of teenage pregnancy – the parents of the child are still children themselves and in school and not able to care for the child leaving the task to their own parents or grandparents.
•  Abandonment – a parent/s abandons their child or children either with relatives or they somehow find their way to orphanages, foster homes, or even end up being a child-headed family etc.
•  Negligence – It is also possible that some parents are physically present, but they are emotionally absent and do not fulfill their roles as parents and thereby depriving a child of normal development.
•  Work – high rate of rural to urban migrations in search of better economic opportunities and domestic work that keeps a parent away from their parental duties.
•  Death – according to Stats SA there is high mortality rate of black middle aged South Africans in comparison to other racial groups which robs children of a parent/s.
•  Incarceration
•  Divorce – divorce is a strenuous time for any family and sometimes its effects are not momentous but far reaching for the children involved.
•  Mental or physical illness
•  Drugs or alcoholism – Substance abuse is a national concern as indicated by the United Nations World Drug Report in 2014. It reported that 7.06% of the South African population abuses narcotics and it is estimated that 1 out of 14 people are regular users of substance and which roughly translates to about 3.74 million people. It is also estimated that the average age of starting to drink alcohol is 13 years for girls and 11 years for boys most likely this is an effect of parent/s absenteeism.
•  Poverty – there is still a huge gap in wealth distribution and it is a contributing factor in a parent/s not being able to care for their children; this coupled with poor or lack of housing as well. The government has tried to provide housing since 1994 but there is still many families without proper housing resulting in families living apart.
•  Relinquishment of parental rights – Section 28 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 allows for the termination, extension, suspension or restriction of parental responsibilities and rights. This provision caters for an application to be heard in the High Court where the primary care giving parent requests the court to grant an order either terminating or suspending the parental responsibilities and rights of the neglecting parent. During the colonial era, the discovery of gold in the Witwatersrand ushered in an era of economic, social and political transformation. There was a boom in the mining sector, together with laws such as the hut tax and the land tenure system, many African men were forced to leave their homes in order to go and earn a living in urban areas to support their families back in their rural homes. The apartheid system did not make it any easy, with gross exploitation and meagre earnings, supporting the family left behind proved to be an almost impossible task. Fathers scarcely returned home or send support back home and some never returned home. Some people take this lightly and think that this is just wanting to put the blame on someone or something to evade responsibility. Picture this, not just one but many generations were robbed of a parent/s and the cycle was on repeat with all the effects it brings some of which I will mention below, you just do not recover
• from that, that easily, it is a timeous process. There is research that highlight the effects of the
• colonial/apartheid system on the family unit.

Historically laws were passed to control the African population. Examples of these laws are, the Urban Areas Act of 1923 which was meant to control the influx of Africans to urban areas, and the Native Laws Amendment Act of 1937 that prevented African people from owning land in urban areas which contributed to families not being able to stay together as this law stipulated the size of the African urban population needed to meet the labour requirements.

Not only have men migrated to places of employment, but so have women too. History points out that from the late eighteen hundreds around 1875 just before the Anglo-Boer wars to be more specific, black women were already dominating the domestic worker sector in South Africa as wet-nurses, cleaners, seamstresses etc. so it was possible for an African family to have both parents absent.

Circular migration has become so entrenched in the South African context so much that it is not surprising that after 27 years into democracy families still suffer from its effects.

EFFECTS OF ABSENT PARENT/S ON CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Because every child is unique, the effects may differ individually but generally, research has revealed that children with a missing parent/s tend to suffer negative effects from the parental absence.

•  Findings confirm the bond of affection between a mother and her child is instrumental for healthy development in early life and is responsible for the formation of healthy attachment with others. At this stage the absence of a father has little to no effect roughly between the ages of 0 – 4 years. Reactive attachment disorder is diagnosed in children as young as 9 months old – this is normally due to maternal care deprivation in the first months of life. A mother’s love and presence in early life gives a child its first life lessons of association, love and security and these have far reaching effects on how a child form future attachments
•  Neglected children often don’t know they are being neglected at the time and often internalize the pain and loneliness and think it is their fault. These children are often labelled as “too sensitive” if they communicate their frustrations, mostly through being irritable. Depending on how the caregivers respond to this cry for help a child can actually develop poor communication skills and poor or lack of empathy towards others.
•  Separation anxiety is a common childhood mental disorder resulting from the fear of losing a parent/s or a care giver from illness or death, divorce of parents, moving or going away to work.
•  Behavioral problems like truancy and delinquency have also been linked to parent/s absenteeism and this affect functioning at school and other setups.
•  Long term separation from parent/s has been linked to depression either early on in life or later on.
•  Anger outbursts and failure to self-regulate – young children are mostly not capable of expressing their feeling in words
•  Lack of self-esteem – high levels of father involvement are correlated with higher levels of sociability, confidence, self-control and behavioral adjustment in children.

•  Having a parent absent in raising a child puts a lot of pressure on the remaining parent and in some cases it affects the quality of the parental relationship between the parent and the child. In some cases a child grows up thinking they were the reason why the other parent neglected them (self-blame).
•  Elimination disorders – occur when children who are otherwise old enough to eliminate waste appropriately repeatedly void feces or urine in inappropriate places or at inappropriate times and the major cause of this is psycho-social factors like absent parents, divorce etc.
•  Some sleep disorders in children are a result of life stressors like divorce of parents, the death of a parent or changes in their environments.
•  The propensity for abuse increases with children who are left in the care of multiple caregivers. This is a more complex social issue and unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you view it; there are more interventions geared towards remedying the effects than there are support structures to prevent the same. Traditionally the family was supposed to be its own remedy through its extended networks; if the statistics cited above are anything to go by then the network itself is now dysfunctional. Parenting involves love and connecting with a child, monitoring them and providing warmth, guidance, support and protection. The Constitution of South Africa and the Children’s Act emphasize the need for a child to be brought up in a stable family environment or an environment resembling it as much as possible. Being aware of these effects as the present parent or care giver can help you to be able to assist your child the best way you can and avoid these by providing a caring and stable environment regardless of the family structure – it is possible!

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” –Frederick Douglass

Talent Adamson Behaviour Therapist

BA (Health and Social Services) Applied Psychology, BA Hon (HSS) Psychological Counselling – (UNISA)