In light of the rampant bullying in schools in South Africa that we have come to watch through social media platforms and one such incident leading to another child committing suicide, we need to talk about teaching children prosocial behavior and resilience. This is not just a South African problem or just a childhood problem and it is not a new behavior either. It is alive and even more vile on social media platforms where adults find it Ok to bully others about anything and everything, hiding behind their screens.

As much as there is the schools psychological services provided by the government, nothing much has been done in the area of the prevention and intervention of bullying in schools. So with that said there is a great need to teach and inculcate prosocial behaviors and resilience in children. I have already written an article on resilience, and these two (resilience and prosocial behavior) are complimentary.

What Is Prosocial Behavior?

Prosocial behavior is voluntary or purposeful or deliberate behavior intended for the benefit of another or others. This behavior is exhibited in things such as when one lends a helping hand, sharing, providing comfort to another, obeying the rules and conforming to socially accepted behaviors to name a few.

Skills such as perspective taking, empathy, and self-regulation contribute to the development of prosocial behavior. Prosocial behavior is a complex behavior affected by numerous factors, both biological and environmental but in this article the focus will be on the environment.

Why Nurture It In Early Childhood?

Prosocial behavior has its roots in infancy and early childhood, it is evident even in some babies that are visibly bothered by the crying of another baby and others will even join in the crying (supporting the fact that we are born with it). This however changes with age and life experiences over time (environmental aspects), such that they can be differentiated so that some behaviors are performed for purely selfish or manipulative reasons like helping in order to get something in return, or for moral/principles/cultural/religious oriented reasons like giving one’s seat to an older person, or pure altruism – helping others for nothing at all in return and sometimes even going against ‘the norm’.

Starting early is important, because early prosocial tendencies often continue into later years. Children who are more prosocial starting out in preschool continue to be more prosocial in later school years and this pattern seems to continue over the life span.

Younger children are always learning and are very eager to do so, so it easier to teach prosocial skills earlier than to try and fix a broken adult later on in life.

Why Is Prosocial Behavior Important?

•  Prosocial behavior is relevant to both the quality of close interpersonal relationships and to interactions among individuals and groups without close ties meaning there is ease in relating to others on all levels for an individual with prosocial behavior.
•  Prosocial behavior does not only benefit others but also the benefactor; children who are more prosocial tend to be better liked at school, at home and even in the community. Likewise adults who engage in helping activities tend to have better psychological health and are able to form and maintain healthy relationships.
•  Prosocial behavior is the epitome of social competence in children of all ages meaning children who are more prosocial are able to navigate their social spaces, whether it is making new friends, resolving misunderstandings, communicating and understanding others etc. Children’s prosocial competence also predicts their strengths in other areas such as resilience.
•  Prosocial behavior is related positively to a range of psychological or cognitive competencies and mind abilities that include empathy, emotional processes, problem solving, conceptual understanding, perspective taking and even intellectual accomplishments in young children. Children that exhibit prosocial behavior tend to be very creative, innovative and supportive of others.
•  Prosocial behavior comes with individual accountability, children learn that their actions have consequences.
•  It has also been linked to good mood and a reduction in stress. What Can Parents Do To Promote Early Prosocial Skills?

Adults are the most important features of young children’s environments in that they provide safety, emotional stability, nurturing, love and a whole lot more both physically and psychologically. In various ways, whether stated or in behaviors, adults may encourage or discourage children’s development of prosocial behavior. So parents need to be deliberate and strategic in what they say or do so that they pass on prosocial skills to their children, remember children’s behavior(s) are a direct result of their environments and the home environment being the most important.

•  Parents need to adapt a warm and supportive parenting style, when a parent is warm, nurturing, and responsive, children are especially more likely to be drawn to and imitate aspects of their behavior, including prosocial actions.
•  Make use of positive discipline as opposed to punishment / punitive discipline. Punishment is about controlling or regulating a child’s behavior through fear. Regardless of whether the consequence is physical such as hitting, spanking or missing dinner; emotional such as belittling, name calling or withholding affection; or punitive such as not being able to play with a friend, go to a movie or play outside; the child learns to fear the consequence that will be imposed on them if they are caught. On the other hand positive discipline helps children learn to see a connection between their behavior and the impact of their actions on others.
•  Present consistent messages – A parent’s behaviors and actions have to be congruent so as not to confuse the child.
•  It is important to give explanations of what is deemed right and what is deemed wrong and why, do not assume that a child will know by themselves.
•  Consider each child’s own personality and abilities and let it guide you in providing the best socialization opportunities that promote prosocial behavior. For example some children are more outgoing and are extroverts whereas others are more inward oriented and do not enjoy play groups but both can still be trained to help others in their own unique ways.
•  Make use of social praise as opposed to gifts or rewards for good behavior, many parents believe that children will become more prosocial if they are given treats or other rewards for being ‘good’. Although such rewards may produce short-term results, they actually backfire in the long term. Children may become less generous when the expected rewards stop coming their way.
•  Making use of stories that promote social skills – children love stories and will imitate their favorite characters.
•  Create opportunities to engage in prosocial behavior like giving away clothes and toys they have outgrown, feeding the needy or visiting a sick friend or relative.

What Can Educators Do To Promote Prosocial Skills?

•  Create emotionally supportive learning environments e.g., establish positive relationships and promote positive interactions. When teachers intentionally create secure relationships in early childhood programs, children benefit socially, emotionally, and academically.
•  Create caring classroom communities – Teachers can help create this affiliative atmosphere in many ways, such as celebrating birthdays, pasting photographs of the class in the classroom etc., and reminding children that they are all members of a caring group of friends.
•  Using authoritative discipline as opposed to punitive measures and putting into place effective communication practices. (Authoritative discipline is derived from the Authoritative parenting style characterized by high responsiveness and expectation of high standards. Teachers can adopt this by being highly responsive to children’s emotional needs while having and expecting high standards /principles. They should set limits and be very consistent in enforcing boundaries.) . Children are more likely to develop empathy and prosocial skills if adults make it clear that they expect (but do not force) them to do so. Polite requests for children to be helpful
• and generous are effective and often necessary prompts for prosocial behavior. Discussing their mistakes with them and finding ways together that they could have responded better to the situation is also very helpful.

•  Children naturally play and learn through play and interactions with peers, educators can use play as a tool to teach and reinforce positive social skills.
•  Making use of collaborative and cooperative learning activities that reinforce a sense of community and in the process training prosocial behavior.
•  Teachers can intentionally create play groups mixing children that are less prosocial with children that are more prosocial especially in activities that require paring or groups.
•  The school environment provides a lot of opportunities for modeling prosocial behavior that educators can take advantage of, for example storytelling, lessons in history, art etc.
•  Teachers that are interested in children’s personal experiences will more likely promote prosocial behavior. In some preschools they have a circle time every Monday to share their weekend experiences and this can be used as a tool to promote prosocial behavior in early childhood.
•  Service learning involves asking students to volunteer for some form of service work within their community – this can also be done in the school environment where a class can volunteer to help in some areas once in a while like picking up litter or leading a donation drive for toys or clothes that can be donated to an orphanage etc.

Factors affecting Prosocial Behavior

•  Socio-cultural elements, religion and traditions (Social Identification), for example in some African cultures looking an elder directly in the eye is a sign of disrespect yet in some Eurocentric cultures it is a sign of honesty.
•  Developmental disorders – conduct disorders, ADHD, Autism Spectrum disorder etc. are some of the disorders that affect behavior in children and affecting the development of prosocial behavior.
•  Social stressors like child abuse, separation of parents or even the death of a loved one can bring about negative behaviors or maladaptive behaviors.
•  Parenting styles – this can enable or disable prosocial behavior in children as most of their learning on how to be human is influenced in the family environment.
•  In later childhood, friendships tend to have a very strong influence and can affect prosocial skills – sometimes children will be forced to do the extreme (e.g. bullying) just to fit into a group of friends.
•  Personality – extroverts tend to be more readily available to help others compared to introverts.
•  Personal experience – we are more inclined to help or not based on previous experiences and the feedback we receive, this in turn will either motivate or demotivate future behavior.
•  Gender – females are more oriented to helping others compared to males.
•  The Social learning theory (Bandura, 1977) suggests that pro-social behavior is learned so if children are not exposed to actions of prosocial behavior it can affect the development of prosocial skills.
•  Motivation – Children’s expectations may influence their likelihood of engaging in prosocial behaviors. For younger children prosocial behavior is seen as reciprocal, even if it’s not material gain but being viewed as a good or helpful person can be a huge motivator.

•  The Negative State Relief Model – this model views empathic concern as being accompanied by feelings of sadness, discomfort or guilt that the helper tries to relieve through helping someone in need. Examples of people mostly affected by this negative state are religious people, prominent people, people that have been affected by the same situation etc.
•  Self-efficacy – “The belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations” – (Bandura). When parents, educators and caregivers focus on building children’s self-confidence, esteem and awareness, they start believing in their abilities and in the process they make a difference not only for themselves but for others.

Talent Adamson Behaviour Therapist

BA (Health and Social Services) Applied Psychology, BA Hon (HSS) Psychological Counselling – (UNISA)